


Late Night Stories

by Towrittealovestory



Category: Carry On - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Death, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, Mutual Pining, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, POV Simon, Pining Simon, Pining Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch, The Mage(Simon Snow), probably
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-22
Updated: 2018-03-18
Packaged: 2019-03-08 06:41:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 19,521
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13452663
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Towrittealovestory/pseuds/Towrittealovestory
Summary: Simon "accidentally" added Baz on Snapchat.The late night talking was more of an impulse.





	1. Late night discoveries

**Author's Note:**

> I tried to avoid any mistakes but English is not my first language so I'm sorry if there's any. 
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy it! :3

I sit up quickly as I recognized the name on the screen.

_baz_pitch_

Friends in common, that makes sense. I have practically half of Watford on my phone, someone must have Baz. He is popular after all, well mostly, his last name is popular. I doubt anyone could be both Baz and my friend at the same time.

I wonder what he uploads. I bet he brags about his life. He probably uploads his fancy Christmas dinner, his expensive gifts, his bloody fantastic life. I realize my finger is almost touching the Add next to his name. I get chills from the idea of having Baz on my phone. I shake my head and start to lay back on the floor.

“Simon!” I jump scared and hit my head on the couch behind me. I turn to see Agatha as I sit up again. “Are you okay?” She smiles apologetically at me. I only nod in response.

I reach for the phone, that fell off my hands. “Fuck.” I swallow.

“What?” There wasn’t any Add option next to Baz’s name anymore, instead, I could  _Snap him_  or  _chat_  with him. “Simon?” I look up and block my phone.

“I-It’s just…just that the screen scratched when it fell.” I give her a nervous smile. I am so bad with lies. But Agatha brushed it off and only told me that dinner was almost ready.

When she leaves I lay my back on the floor again, this time succeeding.

It’s fine, I’m sure he hasn’t noticed. I can eliminate him. I put my finger on his name, but I don’t do anything else. I just stare blankly at the phone. I notice I’m biting my nail when Agatha calls me again. I give my phone one last glare before locking in it and putting it in my pocket.

I…I’ll do it later.

***

I forgot.

How could I forget? Fuck.

After dinner, Agatha and I watched Doctor Who in her living room. Which clearly was uncomfortable for her. It was her father’s idea to bring me on Christmas break even after we broke up. Well, since she broke up with me. Until now I gave up on trying to talk to her, for now. At least while we are at her parents’ house.

Between all of that, I forgot about my phone. It was late now. Really late, 2 or 3 am. He probably noticed already. When I open Snapchat I am surprised to see that he hasn’t blocked me. I go back to the original plan to eliminate him hoping he didn’t say anything when we're back at Watford.

He uploaded something to his history.

I click on it before I can think on what I’m doing.

My phone goes black, mostly. There are small, bright spots across the screen. It finally hits me, it’s the sky… Lastly, I realized there are words, but the image shuts down too fast for to read it. I click on it again.

_Darker things are hidden within you._

I stare blankly at his name on my phone, I open his chat to stare at it instead. What is could he outside at this hour? He usually goes out to the catacombs to eat earlier. What could he be plotting at this hour? I quickly take a photo of the end of the bed, barely illuminated by the moonlight of the window next to me.  ** _What are you doing outside?_**

I lock my phone and rest it on my chest. Though I am still gripping it tightly. I feel my heart beat fast, and my breath quicken. I can almost hear Baz mocking me when we are back at Watford when my phone vibrates in my hand. I unlock it and click on his name fast.

 _It’s none of your business._  Behind his words, there is forest, full of shadows and tall trees that didn’t fit in the picture.

I take a picture of the roof this time.  _ **Thanks to the Crucible, we are roommates. I have to know if you are up to something**_  After I send the picture I noticed he immediately opens it. I wait.

It’s the forest again but from a different angle.  _I have more interesting things other than plotting against you._ In the picture there is more of the grass and less of the tress; spread across of it I can see his legs as if he was sitting on the ground. I recognize the pajama pants like the ones he uses more often on Watford. Another comes in, just the grass this time.  _It might be shocking for you Snow, but the world does revolve around you._

 ** _It doesn’t have to be against me_** I roll my eyes and take another picture ofthe roof again. There isn’t too much in this room really.

 _You can sleep in peace, and leave me alone Snow. I’m not plotting._ He shows me the sky again, with the top of the trees touching the stars this time.

I frown staring at my phone.  ** _What are you doing then??_**

 _I already told you it’s none of your business._ It’s just his feet are surrounded by grass this time, he is standing this time.  _Besides, shouldn’t you be cuddling with Wellbelove instead of bothering me?_

Penny would definitely tell me not to do this. And she would be right (she is always right). He is the last person I should tell this. Nobody but Penny knows, Baz should not be the second one. But Penny is not here.  ** _We broke up._** I send it. He opens it but doesn’t respond immediately like before. I get anxious, just when I am about to do something I get the snap.

It’s the forest from afar. It looks different from the forest in Warford, it almost looks more daunting. Maybe the forest is not so bad after all. _That’s what you are doing up at 2:43 am then! Moping._

I roll my eyes, hearing his mocking tone in my head. I take a photo of me showing him my middle finger.

I laugh quietly at his answer.  _Oh, please don’t take a selfie. It’s enough with seeing it every day at Watford._ Just his feet again, but this time it’s not grass, it’s carpet instead. He is back his house then. I sigh.

I go back to show him the end of the bed.  ** _It’s not like your face is much more pleasant_**  That’s a lie. He has always looked better than me. Not that I’m going to make his ego bigger.

 _That’s harsh coming from someone texting me at 3 am._ His roof is so tall, that I can barely see it in the darkness. Another comes in same picture.  _As much I enjoyed this little conversation Snow, I need to sleep. You should try it, maybe beauty sleep is what you are missing._  

I take another picture of me, sticking my tongue out this time, just to annoy him.  ** _Goodnight Baz_**

Not expecting an answer, I stand up to leave my phone charging. Halfway there, my phone vibrates.

His hair is spread across the pillow, it looks darker, and I see the bump of a half bun. He is mid-rolling his eyes, still, there is a small smirk hanging in his face. The rest of his features loos more intense under the poor light, anyway I noticed the tiniest pigment of pink in his cheeks and lips. My eyes follow to his next, and that small exposed part of his chest.

_Goodnight Simon._

He called me Simon.


	2. Late night conversations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You know when it's just really late you have the weirdest/deep conversations?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I am glad people reading, like the story! So here is another chapter I hope you enjoy this one! :D 
> 
> I tried that there wasn't any mistakes but again English is not my first language so I'm sorry if there's any...

“Did you sleep well, Simon?” It takes a moment to respond to answer Agatha’s mom at lunch after I yawn for like the fifth time. I simply nod.

I didn’t.

I barely got any sleep after talking to Baz. It felt like if I went back to sleep like I imagine it. It was worse when I saw what he had uploaded to his history before wasn’t there anymore.

But I shake the feeling away across the day. There are people and things floating by themselves around the house in preparations for the formal dinner Agatha’s parents are having tonight. Which means I have other things to worry about other than Baz. Like having to correct everyone when they say that Agatha and I make a good couple. Or not spilling my drink on a suit that isn’t mine. Last year was a mess after that happened. I get chills from the memory. Instead, I am trap on a conversation, about the Mage, about his politics, about the humdrum, about why is he not with me.

Not much of an improvement really.

Finally, the dinner ends, and I sigh relived. People are standing in the living room, talking. I avoid everyone with my goal in mind. The couch. As I sit peacefully, I take out my phone and unlock it. By the time I am comfortably sitting snapchat is already on the screen. I scroll down everyone’s name.

I see Agatha’s story first, even though she is a couple of meters away from me. It’s a mirror picture of her posing in her blue dress. Stunning, no surprise there. I sigh and look for her around the room. She is talking to someone that I don’t know the name of, next to her parents. Fake smiling. Only now I realized how many time I received that smile. I click on Penny’s.

It’s a video of her brothers cleaning, then of her cleaning a mirror. With  _This is the real reason my parents had so many kids_ as a caption. I laughed. After it was a video of the same video but instead she was holding her phone with her two hands and the cloth was moving by itself. I noticed in her hand, her ring is shining.  _(it’s not a waste of magic Simon)_ I roll my eyes as I read the caption and swipe down to make the video disappear.

I keep watching other people histories until there was nothing to see. I look up again. I realized how asocial I must look. Not that I really care. I don’t mind talking to people, unlike Penny, but I dislike this type of parties. They just highlight how much I don’t in this world. Unlike Baz. If Baz wasn’t a vampire he would probably make a way better boyfriend than me.

Instead of thinking I pick my phone up and take a video of surroundings. I tried to think of a caption, I come up with nothing, so I just use the hour filter. I upload it before changing app. I am scrolling Instagram for who knows how long (the internet makes me lose my sense of time) when I get a snap. My heart stops as the notification pops up.

_Baz._

He responded to my snap. It takes me a minute to click on it. Another one comes in.

It’s a wall. Just a wall.  _I knew you were popular, but I am shocked at how much Snow._  I roll my eyes at the first one, then again at the second one.  _(that was sarcasm, just in case)_

**_I can see it’s sarcasm Baz._** I take a photo of my legs.

It doesn’t take him too long to answer.  _I’m sorry if I doubt your abilities to communicate since you haven’t demonstrated them to be many._

**_Did you only talk to me to bother me?_ **

_That’s not too different from you, isn’t it?_ He shows me the forest, from a window this time, as if a reminder. The window is wet like it’s been raining.

**_I didn’t know what you were doing yesterday_** I take a photo of the empty space next to me, only because I feel like using the same picture, for some unknown reason, is weird.

_And you just had to know._ His bed looks tall and ginormous even from afar, at least three people fit in there. Very different from ours at Watford. It is kind of creepy though. It has dark figures on the wood that I can’t really see clearly in the photo.

This time I put the phone up and just take a picture of the people talking away from me.  ** _You could have been doing something illegal_**

_So you planned to stop me from snapchat?_ Well…yeah…kind of…

I don’t answer immediately, I don’t know what answer. I wait for a few seconds looking at my phone like an idiot.  ** _You couldn’t do it if you were busy talking to me._**

He changed place. It’s the window but from afar, I can barely see the forest now. I think he is sitting on his bed, judging from the other photo.  _Master plan Snow, I could have ignored you._

**_But you didn’t._** He doesn’t answer. I feel proud. For the first time in my life, I’ve left Baz without a comeback. Or he is ignoring me.

Still, I wait, staring at his chat. I wait until his names pop up again. It’s a fireplace from afar. I didn’t know he had a fireplace in his room. I don’t know lot things about his room, actually.

_Neither did you._

_****_

_You’ve never thought about it? Really Snow?_ I frown, why would I think about that?

I don’t care about taking a decent photo of the roof, I just click it and start typing.  ** _No!! why would I do that?? why are you???_**

He doesn’t seem to care either, I get moved the photo of his own ceiling.  _It’s obvious Snow._

**_I truly don’t understand how it is._ **

_I shouldn’t be surprised, you are as observant as a wall._ I roll my eyes, more than a half of his texts are insults.  _Just think about it, first it’s a photo that you can only see for a few seconds, then disappears from the conversation and it tells you if someone takes a screenshot of the photo._ A final one comes after that. All of them are of thick dark red covers of his bed.  _It was invented for sexting._

It’s not like he is not right, it’s just that…  ** _I don’t want to think about it. It’s gross_** …I don’t want him to be.

_Oh come on Snow, don’t tell me you’ve never done it with Wellbelove?_ He shows me the dark brown couch of his room(everything in his room seems to be a dark something).

“What the fuck? No!” I say out loud on my phone as if he could hear me. I sit down and rest my back on the backrest of the bed.

Another moved photo goes by.  ** _Again no!! first we…never did those kinds of things and second I don’t see the point of it_** I take another fast photo of the between the ceiling and the bed -it just looks like weird stricks of the colors in that in-between- before he answers.  ** _It’s not like you can do…anything about those feelings…it just leaves with the idea in your head that’s just worse isn’t?_**

_I guess it’s just idea of having someone thinking of you on the other side of the phone people are attracted to._ I ignore the background of the words. My heart jumps as I read. A notification pops up and my heart stops.  _And have you heard of masturbating Snow? Or that’s another thing you haven’t done._ I feel almost cheated.

This conversation is already weird enough, I decide to ignore the last one.  ** _It’s not like sexting is possible with no wifi and sharing a room with other 6 kids._**

_Right, you only spend Christmas with Wellbelove. When school is done you back to who knows where._ I try to find sarcasm or a mocking tone, I try to look for a way to say it like only Baz could(like an asshole). But I can’t, for some reason. The next one comes as I am (over)analyzing his text. It’s not his room -I’ve learned how it looks through all the day. It’s a white floor and he is wearing no shoes. It seems like his favorite way of walking around is no shoes.  _You don’t talk to anyone on vacations?_

**_Even if I had wifi, I have forbidden to revel my ubication to anyone. I can’t call anyone, and no one can call me either_ **

He is on a kitchen, I assume from the fridge on the picture.  _The Chosen One, the Mage’s Heir, the most powerful wizard that has ever lived can’t call anyone without permission?_ He is still an ass then, my mistake.

**_Who do you think gave the order?_** I put my finger on the camera lens, so the photo it’s just dark.

Baz likes eating cereal at 1:23 am…what am I supposed to do with this information?  _Shouldn’t you be with him instead of unfortunate normal kids? You are his Heir after all, aren’t you?_

Suddenly I fell angry. I used to think that too.  ** _Ha, that was just to let me enter to Watford and no one would be opposed to it…he has never act like a father really_** When I stopped dreaming of my parents coming back, I would dream about Watford, about the Mage’s house and how he would take that empty place in my mind someday.

It’s a dark one like he covered the camera like I did before.  _Yeah…I think I get that._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't planning to upload today, but I finished writing it and I am not going to lie I felt so inspired because of the comments that I really wanted to write more of it. I hoped it turned out good...
> 
> Thank you for reading and for leaving a comment! <3


	3. Late Night Truths

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I am not completely sure what why I do it, but I might have to do with the fast beating of my heart. "I’ll answer something, whatever you want"
> 
> WARNING: mention of blood, injury and cursing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for the delay of this chapter, I had time to write(or even check my computer) until today...Anyway sorry if there are any mistakes, I hope you enjoy this one too! :D
> 
> Thanks for reading, the kudos, and the kind comments!

I come out of the kitchen with a glass of orange juice. I was walking to the couch to sit and (awkwardly) watch T.V. next to Agatha like we do every day after dinner and Agatha’s parents leave their room. As I walked behind her I noticed the screen of her phone first. Particularly an username (Penny says that I got her share of good sight).

_Baz_Pitch_

“You are stalking him on Instagram?” I muttered, unconsciously.

She jumped scared, holding her phone against her chest. “Simon!”

“You are stalking Baz on Instagram? Really?” Agatha opens her mouth to talk but she doesn’t answer. “Why? You two are friends now? Are you talking?”

“It’s nothing Simon” It sure as hell doesn’t look like it is. She is tense, holding her phone as if I was going to snatch from her hands, her face was flushed till her ears. I always found that trait adorable. “It really is, it’s not a crime chosen one; you are just making a big deal because it’s Baz.”

“Exactly!” I passed my hands through my hair, “Baz is evil, he…” She cuts me

Agatha stands. “Because he doesn’t like your all-knowing, all-wise mentor?” She moves her hands raises her hands and smiles mocking me in way too reminiscent of Baz.

“No!” I snap, I realize I spilled the water on the floor. “Because he is a vampire, he thinks he is better than anyone else, he doesn’t think everyone should be in Watford, he doesn’t think I should be in…”

She stops me again. “That’s it? Because he doesn’t like you?” She answers, ignoring everything else I just said. I stare frustrated at her, clenching my hand around the glass. “Sometimes it looks like the only problem you have against Baz is an unrequited crush.”

“Agatha…” I start talking, but she leaves me. “Agatha!” I try going after her, to reason with her, I fall to the floor. The glass in my hands shatters ’s against the floor and my hands. I sit down on the floor, just where I fell against the couch. And it was wet. “For the fucks sake!” I hissed with my teeth clenched as I stared my bleeding hand.

It took me half an hour to take all the broken shards off my hand and clean the literal bloody mess before I could back to my room. My head was pulsating with a persisting migraine, as my the rest of my body was almost shaking in an attempt to contain my magic by the time I threw myself to the bed.

***

 ** _Do you like the stars?_** That’s all I can think of. It’s lame and it almost feels childish after 10 minutes of blankly staring at my phone.

Baz uploaded the sky for the second time, it’s just the stars, no caption. It’s late for the second time, and he is outside again. Yesterday he didn’t seem to be out. Maybe that’s how much he needs to eat or drink. Now the I think about it, I don’t think I’ve ever seen him actually eat (he was eating cereal yesterday, wasn’t he?). I get chills of the idea of Baz draining blood from an innocent victim. But I remember that he is right, I can’t stop him from the snapchat and he might ignore me if I ask him for about he is doing outside again.

But couldn’t I come up something better than that?

As I come back to reality, I noticed he answered. It’s the sky again, still, the picture manages to catch the tip of the threes. He…is a pretty good photographer. (Shocking, something Baz is good a something.)  _I do. Is that crime chosen one?_ I felt a struck of magic, I take a deep breath.

 ** _Is that what you do at 1:23 am in the forest? Watch the stars?_**  I try to listen to Penny, to not let him get to me, to not give him and the pleasure. Not more than having Agatha, and being better than me in too many aspects.

 _By now you would think you’ve gotten the message Snow but I should’ve expected. My mistake, I overestimated you. It’s none is of your business._ I feel a final sudden hit of magic before the room is filled with my magic. My phone starts turning on next to the lightbulb of the room.

I drop it. And take a deep breath. Why am I even talking to him? I look at the window and see the streets, it’s quiet and my mind is so loud. I breathe deeply again. I stare at the window, although I am not really focusing on what I am seeing, my sight is blurry instead. Counting. Listening to my own breathing. Until there’s only slight ring in the back of my neck.

I turn my phone back on. It’s a relieve it didn’t completely break after that attack (the light bulb is another story). I am surprised to see another notification with his name. He sends it 5 min after I open his last text.

 _I am watching the sky._ It’s a picture of his legs sitting on the grass.

 ** _Why at 1:37 am???_** I am sure by now he has seen every corner of this room in photos.

 _I can’t sleep._ He has shoes unlike the past days; tennis that absolutely doesn’t match his silky pyjama pants.

I frown.  ** _You don’t have that problem on Watford(?)_**

 _Here there’s too much silence._ I understand what he means. In Watford, there’s something in the background, something that even when I close my eyes I know where I am, instead of the living nightmare of the rest of my life. He sends another one quickly, he changes the angle to show me the sky with the tip of his feet on the frame.  _The starts help me to sleep._

**_Why?_ **

He doesn’t answer immediately, it takes him a couple of minutes.  _They remind of someone._

**_They are Watford then…_ **

_Yes._ Surprisingly it’s a video of him walking on the grass. Back home I assume.

**_Are they important to you?_ **

_Yes._

I hesitate to ask, knowing he probably won’t answer.  ** _Why?_**

I sigh relieve when I see his fireplace off, he is back at home then. _You could say that, I guess._ I noticed I am sitting in the middle of the messy bed, hugging my knees and holding my phone with both hands between them, anxiously staring at the screen. I lay comfortably on the bed before answering. ****

 ** _Do you love them?_**  I never really thought about Baz caring about someone, much less love.

It hits me how awful that sounds.

I think about Agatha. I gulp nervously.

_You are asking too many questions Snow._

I am not completely sure what why I do it, but I might have to do with the fast beating of my heart.  ** _I’ll answer something whatever you want_**

 _Why would I do that? Why would you? You don’t think I’ll use it to plot against you later?_ The worst thing is that I want to know more than I care about that.

**_Probably. I’ve been living with you 7 years, after next year it’ll be our last year of high school. I’m kind of expect you to do it actually._ **

_Why did you break up with Wellbelove?_ It takes me off guard, I hold my breath before answering.

**_She broke up with me...I was never the best boyfriend, I tried doing what I thought she wanted but I never really knew what it was. She said she didn’t want to be anyone’s happy ending, she didn’t want to be a final goal._ **

My heart stops beating for a second.  _Do you love her?_

 ** _Yes_** I write and stare at the blinking line next to it, instead of sending it. Why does that feel  _heavy_  and  _wrong?_

I try to remember the feeling of when I saw Agatha for the first time when she said yes to be my girlfriend, when we started watching T.V. together and how I felt when she smiled, even when it wasn’t at me. I remember the feeling of overwhelming happiness because I couldn’t believe that I was alive to see it. I think about how I feel when I see her in the morning still gorgeous as always when she I see her smile and laugh at her phone to her other friends when she talks to me as if we were friends again. I think about today.  ** _I think I used to._** I send finally.  ** _Now you can run after her, I am sure she will welcome you with open arms._** I hope he reads it as unhappy as I thought it.

 _You can stop being bitter Snow._ He does know me decently well.  _I am not interested in Wellbelove, you can sleep in peace._

 ** _I’ve seen you flirting with her, it’s not a secret Baz._** He stops answering again. I take like I am right like he doesn’t care to deny it again.

Although I am not surprised when he answers with a photo of the stars from his window either, I don’t think I’ve ever seen Baz not having the last word in an argument before.  _I do love him._

Him. Him. Him.  ** _Him?_** He doesn’t respond. He doesn’t even open it actually. Two minutes after I send another one.  ** _Poor unfortunate soul, I would be secretive about this if I was him too._**

It takes Baz 4 minutes to finally open my snaps. And less than 4 seconds to answer. It’s a moved photo of some part of his room.  _Honestly, Wellbelove had it worse, I don’t know how she didn’t break up sooner with you. It must take real determination to be with you, Snow._

I sigh relieved.  ** _You’ve called me Simon before._**

_No, I haven’t._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two days of not writing and I was a little stuck for this chapter but here it is I hope it's good...
> 
> And I'm sorry for not answering comments until now...how I said before, I couldn't check my computer until now but thank you a lot! It really motivates me to write :3
> 
> Also, can we just imagine Baz's reaction during this whole interaction? It's kind of hilarious


	4. Late Night out loud thoughts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I don’t anyone really knows something anything about Baz. Not like I do. 
> 
> And maybe I don’t know about enough about Baz either.
> 
> ...
> 
> "I thought it was my job to. I thought that was the reason the Mage never let me change rooms, why the Crucible put us together in the first place. To understand you, to know what was going inside your head to be able to compete against you."

“This is ridiculous Simon.” I don’t dare to look directly at her eyes. “You have to get over this breakup, you two are friends.” Instead, I stare at Agatha on the other side of the living room, sitting on the couch. “Simon!” Penny calls for my attention.

I nod. “Yeah...you are right.”

And I think she was expecting me to fight more because when I finally turn to see her, she stares confused with her mouth open like she was about to speak.

I sit carefully next to Agatha, she doesn’t look up from her phone. “Hey…” Nothing. “Look, Agatha, I wanted to talk to you about…” She cuts me, still staring at her phone.

“I already told you, Simon, we are not getting back together.” I gulp, her voice is cold and unwelcoming, “I can’t love you, not like you want…”

“I don’t want that either.” She only gives a confused glance, after I interrupt her.

“I’m can’t keep going with something I can’t feel Simon.”

“No, it’s…no…it’s not that either…” Maybe I should have written her a letter, instead.

“Then what it is?” She finally let her phone down and turn to me.

“I…” I turn to see Penny, she only looks at me expectantly “I…I don’t want to lose our friendship because I wasn’t a good boyfriend. The least I can do is try to be a better friend.” I stare at my hands instead of confronting her.

I really want to fix things with Agatha. I’ve been thinking about it since last night (this morning?) talk with Baz. And Penny is right. Maybe she doesn’t love me, I can’t really blame for that. Especially if I am not sure I do either. But she’s been there, in all the missions, in all our fights for good. She doesn’t have to, she doesn’t have to be part my world. And I am no one to take that option from her.

I come back to reality as I feel her hand over mine. “It’s fine Simon.” I look up to her, she sighs and gives me a small smile, “You are right, we are friends.” I return the smile. 

Penny walks to us. “Finally done?” I nod. “No more love triangle.” She sighs relieved.

I turn fast to Agatha, she is completely tinted red. Something in my stomach sinks. “Agatha…you still want to be with Baz?”

“Simon, I don’t want to fight about this again.” Agatha gives a tired stare.

“No, it’s not that!” Impulsively I go for my phone in my pocket. “It’s just that Baz…he…” My mouth goes dry and the words get stuck in my throat. For some reason, I don’t feel I should tell them about what Baz told me.

“If you are going be like this Simon maybe we can’t make this work.” She stood up and walked pass Penny.

“He likes someone else!” She freezes and turns to me.

I look over to Penny, who shares her same confused look. “How do you know that Simon?”

“He…he told me.” Agatha rolled her eyes and left.

She didn’t believe me.

“You’ve been talking to Baz? On snapchat?” She exclaims as she looks up from my phone.

For the number of things that try to kill me on a daily bases I shouldn’t be as nervous as I feel under Penny’s stare. “Yeah…”

“You have strikes with Baz! No! You are BFF with Baz.”

I shake my head confused. “What?”

“Yeah, you have a yellow heart. It means you send the most snaps to him and he sends you the most snaps to you.” I take my phone back, and she points out the yellow heart next the flame.

Am I the person Baz sends the most snaps to? “I didn’t know.”

“Of course you didn’t know.” She said sarcastically. “I can’t believe you two. You can’t away from each other, can’t you?”

“He is being outside at 3 am of the morning almost every day now, he has to be plotting something!”

She crosses her arms and raises her eyebrow. “And you plan to stop him from snapchat?”

“He said that too.”

Penny sighs exasperated, “Simon, don’t talk to him, you are only going to end up angry, frustrated and maybe burning Agatha’s house.” I glance Baz name on my phone when Penny’s phone rings.  After a couple of minutes of yeah’s and aha’s she outs down her phone and starts to pick her things around the living room. “I have to go, Simon, don’t talk to Baz.” She warns me and I only nod. “Love you.” She ruffles my hair and gives a smile before walking to the door.

“Love you too,” I answer before she closes the door behind her.

***

His Instagram is private. I stare at his profile picture. His profile picture is of him sitting on concrete, behind him the sunset just settled. His figure looks dark, more like a shadow. He is sitting side-wise, one of his legs is spread while he is using the other to rest his arm. He is looking into the sunset, so his face is not visible, instead, his hair falls elegantly in his shoulder.

Artistic.

I wonder who took the picture.

I’m not surprised to notice he has an extreme number of followers. Baz just seems like the person the people follow. I rest my chin on the pillow and extend my arm to keep looking at the phone from that angle. I mean just the way he enters a room makes you understand he is important and should be treated like such. Either for his last name, or for his numerous talents. Maybe not everyone knows every one of them, not like I do. Everyone knows how good he is at football, how eloquent he is at speaking and enchanting, how incredibly smart he is. But no one realizes hears him sing softly when he is focus reading or writing or heard him practice violin when he doesn’t know I’m waiting outside the door, or how he can read books faster than anyone I know (that’s something I will never tell Penny).

I don’t think no one knows that about Baz. I don’t anyone really _knows_ something _anything_ about Baz. Not like I do.

And maybe I don’t know about enough about Baz either.

Baz is in love.

I turn around again, but I stare at the ceiling this time. My phone was left behind.

Baz is in love with a _boy_.

I can hear the beating of my heart at this point.

I never thought about that. Baz has someone he cares about. Someone he misses when they are apart. Someone he _loves_.

I move my sight to the window, I don’t change my position. The moon is hanging in the sky, missing a piece of itself. Scatter around the stars, bright dots of incomplete drawings in the night.

_They remind me of someone._

It’s almost too out of character for Baz. I can’t hear him saying, I can’t tell if how he would have said it, what face he would make. I’ve seen Baz like that. Something too hidden even for someone who lives with him. So I wonder how that looks like. Baz with a caring smile and with love in eyes instead of cold and deep greys. I wonder how it feels knowing a Baz, a vampire, a Pitch, someone above everyone else, thinks you are worth missing. I wonder how it feels to be adored by him.

I pick my phone up and unlock it. I'm sorry, Penny.

**_Baz_** I send him a picture of the window. It looks better when he takes the picture but the stars are there.

It takes him a couple a couple to open my snap, but when he does he immediately answers. _What do you need Snow?”_ It’s his fireplace, it’s on and looks like it’s out of a movie. How is his camera so good?

**_Why do the stars remind you of him?_** I take a fast photo of the ceiling, but it comes out slightly moved. I take a deep breath in an attempt to calm down my heart.

It’s his legs, partly illuminated by the fireplace. I’ve seen enough of his room to recognize he is on his sofa. _Why do you care?_

I stare at my phone, trying to find a reason, an excuse, _anything_ …but I can’t, so I am honest instead. **_I want to understand you_**

_Why?_ It’s his legs again. I don’t pay too much attention to it.

**_Because I thought I did. I don’t._** I send him a picture of my feet at the end of the bed.

_Why would you think that Snow? Why would you ever think you know anything about me but what I let you see?_

And I think he is mostly right. I think he is really good hiding things. Especially about himself. Still… **_I thought it was my job to. I thought that was the reason the Mage never let me change rooms, why the Crucible put us together in the first place. To understand you, to know what was going inside your head to be able to compete against you._**

He shows me his bed, he is definitely in his couch. _That’s why you want to know? To use it against me? That’s a little too low even for you, don’t you think Snow?_ I want to yell. I feel a knot in my throat and the beating of my heart is only pushing up more and more.

**_No, I would never involve anyone innocent into this…_** I don’t worry about the photo anymore.

He doesn’t seem to care either, it’s a moved photo too. He is angry, I don’t know why but I understand that if he were he would be spitting words at me. _What do you think the attacks of the Humdrum are then? What do you think you expose Bunce and Wellbelove every time you go to one of your missions? You are the only reason you those dangers even exist at Watford._

My heart stops and so does my breathing. **_And you don’t think I bloody know that??_** I send fast, then another. **_I do, I hate it, but I can’t leave. I could never leave Watford, Penny, or Agatha, not even you._** I write as fast as my fingers allowed me to. I take another moved picture. **_It’s the only place I know I fit in. Or at least only place that I can come back to._**  He doesn’t answer. My breathing is heavy, and my heart is pulsating so hard on my chest, I feel it might explode.

I should’ve listened to Penny. This was a bad idea. 

Baz didn’t need to know that. Why did say it? He of all people is the most interested in seeing me suffer.

_I think he resembles the sky._ I blink a few times before I remember what he is talking about. When I do he had already sent another one. It’s his window again. But it doesn’t have a caption. Neither it’s a picture. “Unreachable, I mean, beautiful to see impossible to touch. Only meant to be adored from the distance.” His voice is soft, a little raspy like he hasn’t talked in a long time until now and most notably _sad._

The knot of my throat only intensifies, I sit up and feel the tears rush through my cheeks until they quietly disappear into the bed.

I decide to return the message and focus the camera on the window too. I start to record. I think of an answer. I laughed bitterly at my now blank thoughts, **_Yeah…I think I get that..._**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for the delay, and usually would wait until tomorrow to upload because it's kind of late but I think you waited long enough for this chapter. I'm sorry I've been busy...
> 
> Also, I'm not going to lie, I almost cried writing this. I got really emotional, idk. 
> 
> I hope you liked this one even though it's kind of angsty...and thanks for reading the kudos and the lovely comments! :D


	5. (Not so)Late Night Invitations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Why do you like Baz?” I think of every reason there is to be with someone like Baz. Everything to his looks, to his fucking brilliant brain, to even money, to the way he seems to be loyal to his heart. 
> 
> or
> 
> How did Simon think he was straight?

I ignore the fact that he is eating cereal again, but it makes more sense since it’s actually morning and not 2 am _. You should tell Wellbelove I am not going._ I frown.

**_To what???_** ****I take a picture of my own cereal.

_Didn’t she tell you?_ His table is one of those longs tables in haunted mansions(which I can only imagine his house is like), I noticed that he is alone. But it doesn’t surprise me since I am having breakfast alone too.

“Finally woke up?” I look up from my phone to find Agatha walking to the fridge. The air instantly gets tenser. It’s been two days and she is ignoring me more than before, and when she doesn’t ignore she makes snarky comments that make me think she is imitating Baz. But in all honesty, it feels genuine, less charming almost as if Baz was doing it. “I figure it was best not to wake you up, you seem tire lately. You’ve losing sleep?” I almost heard the Snow at the end of the sentence.

“You invited Baz to what?” She freezes and the grip around the juice box tighten.

“How do you-?”

I cut her. “He told me.”

“Why would he do that?” I open my mouth to respond but I realize I don’t have an answer to that. “Simon you got to stop with this.” I stare at her confused.

“With what?”

She closes the fridge’s door and gets a glass of the juice. “You know you are a terrible liar.”

I know I am but… “I am not lying Agatha, I am just…” What am I even trying to do?

Agatha drinks a sip of her juice and sighs as if she was tired of this conversation. “My parents have an event with their friends, so I am having some friends for a Christmas Eve. Normal friends. I invited Baz.” I open my mouth to respond but why try? She will not believe me. “I knew you would make a scene of it.”

And I answer before I can’t think of what I am saying. “Why do you like Baz?”  I think of every reason there is to be with someone like Baz. Everything to his looks, to his fucking brilliant brain, to even money, to the way he seems to be loyal to his heart(although I am not quite sure she knows that). But instead she opens her mouth, and nothing comes out.

***

The forest looks different in the morning, out of place. Like a scenery from a Tim Burton movie appeared in Looking for Nemo. Just like talking to Baz while the sun still outside instead of the moon.  _Why would I go? I already told you I have no interested in Agatha, or do you want me to say it more clearly? I am gay Snow._ My heart drops. I stare at my phone, until more rational thoughts come into my head. Or at least to write an answer.

I take a picture of the T.V.  ** _I didn’t know you were gay…_**

_How come that doesn’t surprise me?_ It’s a mirror picture. Baz took a mirror selfie. I don’t even care he insulted me, from all the things I’ve seen or ever thought I would see in my life time nothing was close of Baz Pitch taking a mirror selfie.  It’s a full-length mirror. He is on his bathroom, it’s bigger than ours at Watford(just as cleaner though, maybe even more since he doesn’t share it with me).

He seems like he just got out of the shower, his hair is wet and there are drips of water falling off his neck probably to disappear under his shirt. He has on a black shirt that says ‘ _I’m not always sarcastic. Sometimes I am asleep._ ’ Which if someone asked to me to verify, I 100% would say it’s true.  Then he had a pair of dark blue jeans that hang lazily around his hips, showing just slightly the band of his boxers. I realize I was containing my breath until I reach his bare feet.

I lay on the couch, ignoring whatever is on the T.V. and take a picture of the ceiling.  ** _You wear jeans???_**

_What did you expect me to wear? A suit?_ Well…kinda…

**_I don’t know, it’s not like I imagine how you spend your time at home_** Well…kinda…  ** _Anyway don’t change the topic, you should come_**

_First of all, I don’t have a reason to go. Second, why do you care? And third of all, you were the one that changed the topic Simon._ He brushed back his hair in the second picture, he has the same expression though, eyes rolling.

I imitate his expression and take a picture.  ** _Agatha won’t believe me that you don’t want to come. Or anything about you really. She thinks I just want to get back with her. Ps: you called me simon again. ps2: you hair looks better without gel_**

_And that’s my problem why? Ps: that’s your name, you prefer snow? Ps2: I didn’t ask._ It’s normal selfie now. I feel almost…disappointed for some reason.

I stick my tongue out for the selfie.  ** _I thought maybe if she sees that you are not interested maybe she’ll stop liking you(I don’t know why she likes you anyway). Ps: why is it so hard for you?? ps2: i was just saying, you look less evil_**

_You are really making me want to go Snow, really don’t compliment me so much._ He is looking to the side and showing me his middle finger. I growl in frustration.

I decide to show him that and take video replicating my last action.  ** _I meant that she doesn’t have an actual reason, we were friends she knew me before dating but with you, she barely knows anything about you I haven’t told her :P And I was saying you look good with your hair without gel, don’t be dramatic baz_**

His video is of him rising his eyebrow in doubt.  _:P? Really? Are we in 2011?_

**_Don’t change the topic :PPPPPPP_** I send another sticking my tongue out selfie to match the emoji.

_You problems with Wellbelove do not involve me, therefore, I do not care ._._ He also goes back to basics and only rolls his eyes, with the difference that he was mid going through his hair with his fingers. From this close, I can see how well his muscles are marked(which is more than I imagined they did).

**_It’s not only that_** I send fast not really knowing how to bloody convince him to come.

_Then what is it?_

**_Agatha’s friends don’t like me, or my magic actually, and Penny can’t come…_ **

It’s a video of him sighing and looking down. He looks frustrated.  _And you want me, your worst enemy to spend time with you at a party?_

**_You are not the worst, I’ve never made a list but I mean…this few days have been rather informative don’t you think? You are not as bad…_** I decide last minute to send another, in an attempt to convince him,  ** _I’ll owe you one if you come_**

I am shocked to open the snap and hear his voice. “Okay, I’ll go,” I feel myself smile and wave of relieve but it gets interrupted as he keeps talking. “But you do own me one Simon.” My name sounds…different on his lips. I let the message loop again. Simon. I like it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's no valid reason for my disappearance or how short this chapter is...I'm really sorry I've busy with preparation for college and my birthday...I'm really really sorry...
> 
> But I am not gonna lie, once I had time to write I had trouble writing and I am not extremely happy with this chapter. It is mostly set up for the other things coming and to establish how their relationship stands at this point, I hope this is not too boring.   
> I really hope you enjoy this chapter anyway and thanks for reading and the really kind comments! <3


	6. Late Night Sleepy Songs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I sit back on the bed and stare at the sky. It isn’t dark yet, its only 4 something. But still, the first memory in my head is the starts. Then Baz.
> 
> or
> 
> Really, how did Simon think he is straight?(pt2)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> song at the end: laureli-first choice(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gJM-ikgBoow)(super awesome song)

**_How does it look??_** I look at the picture before sending it. I am standing weird and awkward, the clothes fit a little big or a little too small, and I decide that brushing my hair like that was a bad idea. My curls not only looked wilder than usual but frizzier and it twice their size. I sigh and close the closet where the mirror is before throwing myself back to bed. I click on send anyway.

I stare at the roof feeling just generally uncomfortable until my phone vibrates. I click on Penny’s name.  _Roll the plaid shirt it won’t look so small, and did you try to brush your hair? You still have the grey bennie I gave last Christmas? Use it. And change your sucks Simon._ ****I sigh relieve and smile at my phone. At least Penny’s there for any of my crisis, no matter how small.

I do as she told. Then I look myself in the mirror again. Most, if not all, of this, are gifts. The red plaid is a gift from Agatha’s parents, the grey shirt is Agatha’s, jeans Penny’s two years ago and the shoes are the only things that are mine. It’s awful. I don’t know what am I going to do after I can’t wear Watford’s uniform anymore.

Well…I’ll probably ask Penny.

_Yeah that looks good! It’s a shame mom wouldn’ let me skip dinner to go…_ She answers after I ask for validation a second time. In the photo, she is sitting on her couch, bored.

Honestly, it is. I feel anxious without her here. About everything that’s going on, or I what will happen. The idea of seeing Baz makes my stomach turn over. He probably doesn’t need any help getting dressed. He probably just knows. He probably is not nervous.  ** _Yeah I wish you were here too…_**

I sit back on the bed and stare at the sky. It wasn’t dark yet, it was only 4 something. But still, the first memory in my head is the starts. Then Baz.

***

Well, this is going just as I expected to. I am not even sitting on the couch I’ve been moved to a corner against a wall, staring at my phone faking to text and just refreshing my Instagram every minute. And Baz didn’t come. It’s been an hour since the party started and he hasn’t come. I guess Agatha is also waiting for him because she is glancing at the door as much as I am.

I go through a fourth-time lapse in which I open Baz chat, to ask him where is he but I never send the text when Agatha gets up and walks to the door. I imagine I didn’t hear the knocking thanks to the music, but I stare at the door. Kind of hoping is Baz, but I am still in shock when I see him step into the house. My heart jumps and I quickly put away my phone as I walk towards him. He is wearing jeans, again, maybe even the same jeans although he is just wearing a dark blue shirt, a dark brown trench coat, and almost more shocking shoes. But worse of all, his hair is free of any type of gel.

Baz only glances Agatha for less than a second and looks around for another one until he sees me. Something runs in his stare as I get to him but it runs away faster than I can catch it.

“I thought you weren’t coming.” I escape my mouth before I can stop it.

He shrugs, “You owe me one.” There’s an awkward a silence for a minute maybe before Agatha talks again.

“I am glad you did…” She says shyly. Baz stares at her blankly, I feel defensive of all of a sudden. I don’t want him to hurt Agatha like I feel he might.

As I am about to jump to throw him out of the house, he talks and I freeze. “Snow convinced me to come.” He makes sound like it’s not a big deal, and it might not be but it wasn’t sarcastic, it wasn’t mean, he doesn’t seem he is spitting like he usually does.

“You did?” Agatha turns to me confused.

I nod, not really knowing how to answer. “Yeah…we…we been talking…” Silence again.

“I don’t know about you but the wind is not truly that pleasant in winter. Can I come in?” Baz sounds annoyed, but there’s still a tone politeness in his voice. I move so he has the space to come in and Agatha to close the door. Baz looks around the house. “It’s a very pretty house, Wellbelove.” He says walking to corner I was in before he came in.

“You can call me Agatha.” She follows him.

He doesn’t answer immediately, he looks over to his shoulder to  _me._ I feel his eyes pierce my mind and chill run through my spine. It feels like forever before he moves his eyes to Agatha. “Sure.” He simply answers. I let out the air I was holding.

“I’ll bring you something to drink.” Agatha offers, smiling slightly awkwardly when Baz finally lays his back against the wall.

“No, it’s fine, I am not thirsty. I am sure Simon will be able to give me something if I need it.” He looks up to me again.

_Simon._

I am pulled back to whatever is happening around us when Agatha talks again. “Yeah…okay…” Silence. Agatha stares at Baz for a second not really with love or in an adoring way really, but as if she was looking something on him. And she leaves looking thoughtful but I don’t ask even though I want to. Instead, I walk to the spot where Agatha was before, next to Baz.

A couple of minutes go by.

“I really thought you weren’t coming.” I don’t look at him, I don’t think he is either.

“I said I would, I am a man of word Snow.” The music is loud that we could talk so no one but us can hear but far from a whisper.

I turn with a half smirk reminiscent of his. “I’m sorry if I don’t believe after you tried to feed me to a chimera.” I was right he wasn’t looking at me.

“Like you haven’t tried to kill me before.” I shrug.

“I protected you from the chimera didn’t I?”

“I knew you would.” I move to listen to him. Since his voice is quieter and quieter.

“Why?”

He shrugs this time and looks up at the ceiling. “Because only you would think that was the right thing to do.”

“It was,” I whisper back.

“Wouldn’t your problems end if you had let me die there?” For such a morbid comment, he looks almost peaceful.

It takes me a second to respond, “No.” I say clear and loud, “You…you’ve got someone that cares about you don’t you? It wouldn’t be fair for them, even if you are a pain in the ass.” I go back to stare at the couch in front of us, with a slight ache in my chest.

“That’s merciful coming of the one who always gives the last punch.” He mocks me.

I roll my eyes. “Or maybe I would have been doing them a favor.”

He laughs, not as bitter as I'm used to. “That’s more like you Snow.”

“Besides I already told you, you are not my worse enemy. We haven’t try to kill each other just yet.”

I can almost feel him smiling. “That’s the key word, Simon,  _yet_.”

***

Most of the people left by now. There’s only one girl left it’s either Mandy, Mindy or Mindy. Baz says it’s Mindy, but I think it’s Minty.

“You just only think about food Simon.” And well Baz is still here too.

Agatha didn’t try to talk to him again. Actually, some time ago she left with Minty to her room. Since then Baz and I overtook the couch.

The music is still in the background an long ago was changed to softer rhythms and lyrics. Most songs I don’t know but heard coming from Agatha’s room from time to time. But by the way that Baz is absolutely not listening what I am saying I guess he does know this one. So I stop talking and listen instead.

_laying in the snow till my body freezes over til the aching in my chest goes away_

_and it might be something but i won’t explain you’ll feel your own someday_

The beat is soft, but a little fast. Her voice sounds sad and resigned to her situation. An I wonder if that’s how Baz feels?

_you, were, my first choice and there no doubt in saying you’re the only one i ever had_

I wonder what even it’s his situation.

_don’t, talk, just go away and leave me, been ten months but your name still tastes like salt in my mouth_

I stare at him, trying to read him as he hums the song, distracted.

_you, were, my only choice don’t you find it’s funny that there’s still ice inside my heart_

He yawns and smiles only slightly. It looks nice on him. The smile. ****

_stay, out of my thoughts just for a minute, every day i’m still reminded of how alone i am_

“Does it remind you to him?” I ask carefully.

He turns fast, almost like he forgot I am here. He looks tired, more like sleepy actually. I’ve never seen Baz like this. Distracted, sleepy and so… _close_.

_in the meantime i will simply stay here heartache getting number until it fades away._

Since we are facing each other instead of the T.V. when he moves so his head is resting on the back of the couch he has to awkwardly contract his legs, and roses my awkwardly contracted legs.

_and i might want to say how much i love you anyway but my mouth stopped moving when you left_

“Yeah…it does actually…” He says with his eyes closed and a quiet honesty in his voice.

_you, were, my first choice and there no doubt in saying you’re the only one i ever had_

I decide that it looks comfortable and adopt his position as I talk. “Is he your first love?” My legs end up on top of his. But he doesn’t get startled or moves or complains so I stay.

_don’t, talk, just go away and leave me, been ten months but your name still tastes like salt in my mouth_

“He’s the only one I’ve ever loved.” He whispers like is a thought that escaped his mind, “I don’t even remember what it means not loving him...”

_you, were, my only choice don’t you find it’s funny that there’s still ice inside my heart_

And it’s then when I realize I can feel the movement of his lips on mine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I overcompensating for missing a week so here you have something way longer, i wrote this instead of sleeping then slept until 12 am so I hope you enjoyed this :D  
> The inclusion of the song at the end was a last minute desition, I was listening to music in youtube and this song came up and it felt like a song for Baz to Simon that I had to use it.
> 
> Also, there's not much of Snapchat in this part, but there's lot of fluff so I hope is fine...
> 
> Thanks for reading and for the amazing comments! I didn't know people would enjoy this story this much, it makes me really happy and inspired to write, thank you so much :D


	7. Late Night Dreams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I kissed Baz.
> 
> Maybe.
> 
> I, maybe, kissed Baz Pitch.

I try to grab something next to me. There is something missing. Disappointed I complain out loud and open my eyes. I sit on the couch, quickly I realize I am on the edge of the couch and I fall on the floor. “Shit.” I curse. I start to get up when my memory starts coming to its senses. I touch my lips as I feel them tingle as the memory comes back. What was that?

“Good you are awake…” I turn to Agatha scare as if she could read my thoughts. She seems…tired. “Would you help me clean up the living room?” Besides she sounds distant. I get up and pick up a few things without saying anything since I don’t really know what to say.

Every time I blink the blurry memory comes to my head. “Simon!” I jump again.

“Yeah?” I look over to Agatha and she stares at me frowning, “I’m still sleep…I’m sorry…”

“It’s fine…” She turns to keep sweeping.

“What were you going to tell me?” I insist her and take a step forward, now only the couch is the only thing between us.

“You don’t have to that anymore,” I frown, confused. “Look out for me, I mean. Baz told me before he left.” I don’t change the confused stare.

“Agatha I…” Then it hits me, “You saw him left? He stayed?” It seems we were exchanging the confused face every time the other talked.

She doesn’t respond immediately it takes her a couple seconds, “Yeah…I think you two fell sleep in the couch because he sat up when I opened the door for Mindy to leave…” Oh shit, it is Mindy then. “Did you two sleep together?”

“I…” I touch my lips as my face turns red.

Agatha walks up to me, “Simon, are you okay?”

“I…” I take a step back instead, “I…I need to speak to Baz.”

“Why?” She follows me around the couch.

“Because…because…” Because I think _we kissed._ “I think I owe him something…” An explanation perhaps.

***

 ** _Baz_** I sent that 7 minutes, it’s not a lot of time but I am feeling desperate, so I send another picture of the window. **_We need to talk._** I wait for another 5 minutes. Nothing. I sigh resigned and throw my phone to the end of the bed, I get and walk to the shower.

I kissed Baz.

Maybe.

I, maybe, kissed Baz Pitch.

I bite my lower lip, trying to remember the sensation of his lips. But I was barely awake, and I can only find a blurry memory that just might as well be a dream. It might be.

Since…when?

Since when that would be a dream my head would come up with?

I blink, and I see him humming. Why now?

I blink, and there he is singing to someone that’s not there. I laugh bitterly and observe the water run through the floor. Why when I know he loves someone else?

I blink, and he is so close. Why when I know he would never love _me_?

I close my eyes and let water fall to my hair as I turn the water off. I stay there for a moment, listening to the last drops of water fall.

As I pick up my phone up I lay back on the bed, not really feeling like dressing up just yet(when I say dressing up I mean back into pyjamas). But I sit up again when I see Baz’s name. “ _I think I might be a little busy Snow.”_ My breathing stops as I see the Mage standing in Baz’s living room.

The inspections, Penny had told me about them. I thought the Mage had already gone to Baz’s house. What is he doing there? **_I’m on my way._** I send it and stand up.

 _Why? To help him?_ It’s a far away picture of the Mage’s Men entering the house.

I frown and take a picture. **_To help you._** I start to get dressed when I realize I just send Baz photo of my legs. My legs without pants. My legs with just a towel.

“Shit.” I stare to the chat for a second trying to decide if I should say something about it or not.

Before I can decide he answer.   _Why would you do that?_ I sigh relieve, although it only lasts a short moment. Why do I want to help Baz? My heart starts beating hard a signal and I want to ignore it.

I take another picture of my legs, now with pants on. **_We are friends._** I write because I can’t think of anything else but I want to see you.

I take my wallet and start walking to the door. The living room is almost clean now. “Where are you going?”

“To see Baz.” I don’t stop walking, “The Mage is at his house.”

“You are going to help the Mage?”

“No,” She takes my shoulder, I turn to her.

“Then why are you going?”

“I…I don’t know,” I answer honestly before walking out the door.

I check my phone again. _Since when?_ It says the first one. Why is Baz so hard? The second snap it’s a photo of the Mage. How does he take so many photos of the Mage? _Even if we were why would you choose me over him?_ I have to stop walking for a moment.

I am walking, I shouldn’t be writing. **_I just want to be there Baz, in case anything happens._**

On the other hand, I shouldn’t be dreaming about him either.

***

It takes me around an hour and twenty minutes to get to Baz’s house(and it kind of pains me the amount of money I paid the taxi driver). Only because luckily my magic isn’t too horrible today and I could spell **Make way for the king**. It made the way a little faster but not enough. Baz is still fighting, and the Mage is making questions and more questions Baz told me. I am sure there are things to be found at his house that the Mage is looking for but there’s a strong feeling of _something._ A bad feeling.

Finally, I stop running when I realize that taxi driver might be right about Baz’s house being haunted. It looks like villain’s lair. I knock on the door after catching my breath. For a few minutes I stand there, I take out my phone to text Baz when the door finally opens.

Surprisingly, it’s not Baz or anyone I could recognize as his relative that opened the door. It was Mage. He stared at me in slight shock before talking, “Simon?”

“Sir” My voice is tense.

“What are you doing here?” I look behind him and Baz is sitting looking at me with a straight face, bored almost.

Okay, maybe this was a bad idea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's late and this is short but I tomorrow it's going to be hard to publish anything early and I think you waited long enough for this really short part. I hope you enjoyed anyway!! :3 
> 
> Thank you for reading, the lovely comments and feedback :D


	8. Early Morning Hunger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> But those don’t feel like revolutionary thoughts, not exactly. More of a re-discovery. As if you stopped eating your favorite food until you even forgot how it tasted. Finally, when you eat it again it reminds you why even liked it in the first place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick Warning!: Making out ahead.

“I have to ask Baz something.” I finally say without an actual good answer.

The Mage frowns at me. “What would that be?”

I take my eyes of the Mage to Baz. He just stares with an unreadable expression. “Just to Baz…” Finally, I get a reaction from Baz. Confusion. Not what I expected (I don’t know what I expected).

“Are you planning anything Simon?” The Mage asks more quietly, also in confusion.

I don’t look away from Baz’s eyes. “No, Sir.”

I want him to know. I want him to understand why I am here.

No one answers or reacts for a moment, then Baz does. He gets up from his sit on the couch and looks down at me. “What are you doing standing there then?” After he leaves I walk behind him, passed the Mage.

“Is there anything you need us for?” He asks politely.

“No Mr. Pitch, is it anything of importance?” The Mage takes a quick glance at me. I swallow.

“Simon and I have some Greek homework together, I want to get it done as fast as possible if you allow me.” Baz turns to his father this time. Since he doesn’t give an answer, Baz keeps going. “Excuse me then.” I notice the lack of emotion in Baz’s father face similar to Baz’s.

“Excuse me…” I say before walking behind Baz again.

I stare at my feet as walk to the stairs at the end of the room. I want to avoid acknowledging the tense air around us and the stares behind us. I sigh relive as we get out of their sight. But then I look up to Baz again and he is…distant, in every sense of the word. He put an evident distance between us and he is looking straight ahead as if I am not here.

“Baz…I…” I tried to start talking and he stops walking. He looks over his shoulder, something runs through his eyes, I wish he was easier to read. I don’t continue.

Finally, we get to his room and I can understand clearly the layout of his room I’ve seen the past week. I look around. “Your house looks haunted.”

“It’s because it is.” I turn to him, and he is already sat on the couch.

“Oh…”

“Don’t tell me the chosen one fears ghosts?” He mocks me, but I see there’s no smirk on his face.

“Why do you always have to fight?” I walk towards him.

“It seems appropriate, don’t you think?” He answers, glancing at the door as if referring what’s happening downstairs.

Finally, I stop in front of him, “Maybe but I don’t want to fight anymore.”

“Perfect, it’ll be easier for me then.” He gets up again and walks past me towards the window.

I roll my eyes, “Really? After all this week?”

“Because we talked a few times doesn’t mean we are friends Snow.” He doesn’t move his eyes from the window.

“I came here for you.” He stays quiet for a second.

“Well, that was your mistake. I never ask you to come.” He says more quietly.

I walk up to him and grab his arms, so he turns to my face. “You left without saying goodbye.”

“Why do you care?” I open my mouth to respond but I don’t know how to answer, “I figured…” He pulls his arm away, but I pull him back, this time strong enough to bring him down to my height.

His lips are cold, and his body is tense. At first, I am the only one moving my lips. My eyes are pressed hard together, and I am sure he can hear my heart’s pulse as clear as I do at the right now. Finally, there’s a slight response from him. It’s barely registrable but it makes something on my stomach drop and my heart explode. I cup his cheek with my free hand.

After Merlin knows how long, we pull away, just barely, to breath. I don’t let him completely move away. I don’t move my hand.

I just kissed Baz Pitch.

I just made out with a  _boy._

And I’m breathing heavily, it’s embarrassing.

So, I do it again.

And again.

And again.

Until we are on the floor, with him against the wall. His hands are running through my hair, and his other hand searching the end of my shirt. He is finally answering with the same intensity as if he is fighting for power. As if he is sucking something out of me, which he might be, but I don’t want worry about that. I finally have Baz where I want him, and I don’t plan to let him go.

Until I run out of things I always wanted to do -that I never I knew- to Baz. Pull his hair, line his lip with the tip of my tongue, kiss his chin, his neck, that small space his shirt doesn’t cover.

We kiss until someone knocks the door.

We both catch our breath as we turn to the door. Slowly I get up and he follows. I was about to walk to the door to open, but Baz puts a hand on my chest. My body immediately reacts to his touch as if lightning struck me. I realize what he means. I am still breathing heavily; my face is probably red, and my clothes are slightly out of place. Baz, unlike me, looks almost exactly the same as before we entered the room (but his hair, which I was right he looks a lot better with messy hair). I nod, so he is the one the ends up walking to the door while I pull myself back together.

I am about to think of what just happened when I recognize the figure on the door. “Simon, I need to talk to you for a second.” His voice is harsh and serious.

As I walk past the door, I give Baz one last glance and he is…frowning. Why am I not surprised?

We walk in silence to an alone hall. “What do you talk about sir?” I ask when we stop.

“You should leave.”

“I can’t, we…we have a project together¨ I start saying but he cuts me.

“Watford too.” He whispers.

I take a step back. “I…why?”

“Here is not the place to discuss the details Simon, we can talk about-”

“No.” I declare as I feel the tips of my finger tingle. He looks at me in confusion. “I can’t leave Watford, sir, you can’t ask me to that…”

He takes a step closer to me, but I move away again, “You don’t understand, I was going to wait until next year, but things are getting more and more complicated my boy.” He tried to grab my arm, I pull it away. He looks shocked.

“No, there has to be another way,” the air around me looks feels heavier and heavier. “I can’t leave Watford…”

“Simon it’s to protect, there’s a plac-” I see take his wand out as my head starts to spin.

“I just can’t, what about Penny and Agatha and…and…”

“Simon.” A voice calls me loud and clear, although it isn’t the Mage. I turn to see Baz standing there, with a calm expression. “Breath.” His voice is firm but not harsh instead it’s almost calming. I do as he says, and he turns to the Mage. “It seems the inspection it’s done.” This time his voice is less friendly.

“It seems it’s time to go then.” The Mage declares as if nothing happened. “Simon.” He calls me walking next to me. I look to Baz, his stare is cold although he seems to be waiting for something. “Simon.” The Mage looks over his shoulder, calling for my attention, also expecting.

“I…I…” Crowley. “I…I should stay,” I answer finally. “It wouldn’t be right to leave Baz alone,” Silence. “With the project I mean...” I finish.

The Mage turns away and keeps walking, “Fine then.”

I sigh relieve, and Baz and I are left alone.

***

“He wanted you to leave Watford?” I nod and take his hand. He jumps slightly, still, he lets me hold it. “Why?”

“I don’t really know…” I stare at his hand as I make circles with my finger in his palm, “To protect me I think, but I can’t think of leaving Watford…I just can’t…It’s the only place I-”

“Belong.” I look up to him, “You told me. You can’t leave the magic or Bunce or even Wellbelove.”

“Or you.” He just stares at me across the couch with a slightly shocked expression. “Baz I-”

“Why did you kiss me?” I stop making circles.

I intertwine his fingers instead. “Because I wanted to.”

“Why?” He doesn’t take respond back, still, he doesn’t pull his hand back. “Are you gay?”

I take a moment to think, “I…I don’t know.”

“How do you not know?” Baz frowns at me.

I shrug and go back to making the circles, “Are you?”

“Yes, I already told you!” He exclaims frustrated. “Crowley, Snow.”

“I already told you to call me Simon.”

He rolls his eyes. “You have to be kidding me.”

“Come on Baz…” I ask him, letting my other hand travel up to his arm, his body shivers to my touch. I give him enough time to push me away, but he doesn’t. He lets me kiss him softly at first.as my hand slowly moves to the side of his face to pull him closer.

Baz kisses are cold, the cold that burns you. His hands are of what you expect of someone that can invoke fire as easily as he breaths, rough and textured. I submerge myself more and more into his sensation. Around I can only feel the world freezing and any other sense it’s busy focusing on reacting to his touch. To fight back, I’ve never let Baz win without a fight before. I don’t plan to start now.

The imagery around us falls apart as the knocks in the door pull me back to the reality.

He gets up and my hand fills empty without his. I turn to see him open the door. A little girl appears.

“Mom wants to know if your friend is going to stay for lunch.” As she said it, my stomach growls.

Right, I haven’t even had breakfast. What it’s wrong with me?

“He is not my…” He looks at me and stops, “We’ll be down in a moment.” The little girl stares at me. “Mordelia.” Baz calls for her attention. She smiles devilish and leaves. He sighs and looks to me. “I imagine you impulsively ran to here and forgot to eat.”

“Yeah…I did actually…” I admit embarrassed.

He gives me a smirk before walking out the door.

As I start walking behind him, I wonder if something actually has changed. All I am doing is following him. And it seems it’s all I am able to do. Maybe even since we met.

I noticed the way he walks, the way his hair falls into his face, the way his features are sharp and harsh, how his lips seem permanently shut down and the soft way he breaths. But those don’t feel like revolutionary thoughts, not exactly. More of a re-discovery. As if you stopped eating your favorite food until you even forgot how even tasted.  Finally, when you eat it again it reminds you why even liked it in the first place. 

The memory of his hungry lips sucking the logic thoughts out of me and his cold hands burning against my skin jumps to my head.

Maybe thinking of Baz like food before sitting at a table with his family isn’t the best way to go.

Maybe I should have eaten breakfast before coming.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t deserve forgiveness for not publishing this week, I’m still really really sorry! I hope this part compensates a bit of the damage and you enjoy it! Thanks for reading and the lovely messages!
> 
> Also, forgive my lack of creativity with titles...


	9. Late Night Fire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Blink. Cold lips and hungry eyes. 
> 
> Blink. Rough hands and hopeless words. 
> 
> Blink.

I reach for the body next to mine, still, I only found the familiar sensation of emptiness. I slowly open my eyes. As my eyes get used to the darkness my brain starts to rewind the memories of the past hours. I smile.

“Don’t look so happy Snow,” Baz said after he is pulling away, just barely from my lips, “Nothing has changed.”

“I already said I won’t fight you anymore Baz.” I clenched his hand.

“I never said I wouldn’t.” He whispered, but his words were missing their usual strength.

“I know.” Because I did. “But I like you…” I admitted in a sigh, “I don’t expect you to like me. I don’t what would I do if you did actually…you have someone else.” I chuckled bitterly. Baz didn’t answer. “Baz?”

“No, I…don’t.” And I stopped breathing.

I look up to the window, still smiling at the memory. Then I turn to the empty space next to me. Where is he? My eyes immediately travel to the darkness outside.

I get up and look for my shoes next to the bed.  I run to the door, trying to not make any noise but I doubt that I accomplished it. Once I get to the principal door, I realized that it’s closed. I try to grab my wand from my pocket and finally realized I forgot it upstairs. “Shit.” I hesitate to go back to Baz’s room. Instead, I focus on the windows next to the door, one on each side. “Oh well.”

I start running as soon my whole body trespass the window, and the cold breeze hits my skin. My heart starts rushing as I get closer and closer to the forest. I worry it might explode when I finally entered it. Still, I don’t stop. I submerge myself in the darkness. I only stop when I recognize the magic in the air. I turn to run my left and the sensation gets stronger and stronger. Almost to the point that I can taste Baz’s magic in my mouth. My chest is heavy. Is this what he does at night?

I’ve never seen this with anyone but me. Usually, people don’t have the amount of magic to spill it like I do, like this. I worry Baz doesn’t either.

The darkness of the forest finally dissipates around the fire. I breathe the magic in the air. “Baz…” I exhale heavily staring at the fire. Before I can understand what, I am doing and why. I have the sword in my hand and running towards the fire. With every breath, I get filled with magic. I cut a burning bush in a successful attempt to make a path. Once inside I noticed how the fire is not the only damage. The fire surrounds an empty filed of cut trees and holes with still smoke coming out of them.

Something is  _wrong._

I look around it is looking for any sign of Baz. The fire burning faster and faster, threating me to catch me. But there was no sight of Baz. “I… **I wish I could fly**.” There weren’t magic words still the magic rushes over me. I fall to the ground in a blink. I feel the heat getting closer and closer to me. Every part of my body burns with magic struggling to stay still. The pain might rip me apart until it doesn’t.

I’m moving again. There’s a wave behind me. Nothing of his burning flames remained, instead the carbonized threes are what it’s left behind.

Blink. Cold lips and hungry eyes.

Blink. Rough hands and hopeless words.

Blink.

***

“Ignore the rest?” Baz raises his eyebrow and moves away from me. “You want to ignore years of war to snuggle?” He gets up and walks away.

I shrug.  “I mean, hasn’t this lasted long enough? There are bigger problems the threaten the Magic than political disagreements.”

He turns around and looks down at me, “And then what? We all held hands and sing songs about love? For Crowley’s sake Simon.”

I get up and walk up to him, I stare at his hand as I intersected our fingers. “We are going to destroy each other before we can destroy our enemies…”

“Couldn’t you be a little more generic?” He murmurs, with no real spite in his words. “Just because you keep saying it doesn’t mean it’s going to happen.”

I look up to see his eyes. He is not breathing. “It’s that not how spells gain power?”

***

“Simon!” I inhale heavily sitting up.

The memory of his lips remains on mine, “Baz…”

“You finally woke up…” I turn to see Penny with a relieve face and glossy eyes. She readjusts her glasses. “You looked so…so…”

I noticed I don’t have a shirt on. Just the jeans I slept in. “I am…uh…fine.”

“You had me worried, what happened?” The remains of her crying eyes disappear to her usual determinate stare. “You were in Baz’s house? Did you two fight?”

“N-No! We…we…” How do I explain her? “I was looking for him…” I’ll tell her after what happened between us. “I was looking for him when I saw he wasn’t in the room…Then I saw the fire. His fire. He wasn’t there. It looked like he…he had fought someone, every…uh…everything was...” I swallow. My head starts to spin the memories, “…destroyed.”

I follow her eyes to the bed. “How did you…flew here?” She takes a feather in her hand. The wings. “Simon, how did you do that?”

“I…don’t know…I just remembered wanting to…to fly away, to get Baz and get out of there…” Her face twists into worry again. My heart jumps in pain, watching her worry.

“And you flew here.”

“I didn’t know what to do…I guess I thought about you…” I admit.

Penny stares at her hand, thoughtful like she still had questions and was debating which one was worth asking first.

“Penny,” She turns to me, “What happened? Where is Baz?”

“It seems like the Humdrum was there…The magic was drained from his house.” Something in my stomach dropped. “And Baz…they are still looking for him.”

“You can’t get in like that!” We both turn to the yell and big impact. “This isn’t your home anymore!”

“Mom, don’t make this more difficult…” Premal’s voice is almost tired.

“I already told you he isn’t here.” The voices get closer and closer.

Penny pulls my arm until I get up. It takes me a second to recover balance and Penny makes a sigh that I stay quiet. She opens the window then points at it. I take it as an indication to get out. Before getting out she grabs a cloth. Once outside she throws it at me and starts running.

“What is this?” I unfold it as I say it. A hoodie.

“Your Christmas gift, I thought this is as good of a time as any to give it to you.”

Considering that I am shirtless, it probably it is. I start to run and put the hoodie on. “What’s happening?” I ask again when I catch up to her.

“Well…as far as anyone knows you are disappeared too.” I frown at her, “Mom didn’t want the Mage coming up to our house with false accusations again. She wanted to wait until you woke up. But then there were people think it was your fault what happened in Baz’s house, yours and the Mage’s fault actually. She didn’t want me to get involved.”

“Aren’t you getting involved?”

“I wasn’t supposed to run with you. There’s no way I’m leaving you now.” She sounds determinate, I turn to her for a second. I understand why even when I am unconscious I would look for her.

She takes her phone out and goes through her contacts for a moment. “What are you doing?”

“We need a car.”

“Agatha.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Very short chapter I know, I'm sorry but I wanted to avoid the "not publishing for a whole damn week" thing, and this is as much as I could write. I should have been studying at that time, but it was worth it(I really hope so). I don't really have a lot experience with angst or stories with as many plot points as this one(i don't even know if that applies here), so I hope I'm doing a good job...
> 
> I was kind of in a rush so I couldn't give an intensive checked to the grammar in this part, I still checked it and I will check it again later to correct it later but for now, excuse me if there's any. 
> 
> Anyway, thank you so much for the lovely comments, feedback, and the kudos :3 It really means a lot to me knowing people actually enjoy what I write(it's still a shock to me). Thank you for reading! <3


	10. Early Morning NIghtmare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Baz is missing and everything is out place.

“Why are we even looking for Baz?” Agatha finally answer to Penny’s plan, “Shouldn’t we leave this to Mage’s men?”

“Do you think Baz’s family is going to ask for help from their suspect? Or that the Mage is actually going to help them?” Penny clarifies turning to see Agatha.

She sighs in response, “But why do you have to help him?”

“The Humdrum might be involved.”

“Then the Mage should get involved!” Agatha is starting to rant, which she only does when we are death near situations.

Penny look up to mirror to make eye contact with me, “It’s not only that, there’s something weird in his behavior,” She lays back in her sit, and scratches her chin thoughtful, “Not only they attacked Baz instead of Simon, they  _took_  Baz…the humdrum has never taken someone before…”

“What if it’s not Humdrum then?” I look Agatha’s eyes through the mirror and find fear in them.

“Then we’ll fight it,” Finally I declare in the middle of the silence, “I’ll fight it, whatever it is.”

The fear in Agatha’s eyes doesn’t dissipate, instead, a layer of worry rushes to them. “Why do all of this for Baz?”

“Because I can’t imagine what could take someone like Baz.” Because it’s true. “Baz is not one to let anyone walk over him, not without a fight.”

“If the forest it’s as destroyed as you said, he didn’t.” Penny reminds me quietly.

Agatha tightens her grip on the handle, “What are we walking to?”

***

We left the car far away from Baz’s house that it wouldn’t be suspicious. We walk hiding from the people surrounding the house. Also, from a safe distance. I give one last glance to the house. Even from here there’s a faint trace of the indistinguishable insidious feeling. I shake my head and guide them to the forest. 

Although it’s hard to miss the burned spot, even from afar. Especially with the yellow tape around the trees and the signals of warning along the way.

“By Merlin’s bear…” Penny murmurs once we get there. I turn to Agatha, she is covering her mouth in shock.

There’s barely any green left around, there were left only black and brown. There is novelty that I missed in the dark of the night. Dark red around the deformed deep holes, splatters of it the mixed with the brown of the soil, just below two threes cut and burn down to the ground a splash dry mark of blood. What fired an alarm in my head what the abnormal size of it. Baz shouldn’t have blood running in in his veins.

***

“Magic.” I turn to Penny’s voice. She is kneeling to one of the holes.

Agatha doesn’t seem to dare to get any closer to anything, “What?”

“This was made by magic,” She looks up to us, frowning, “But I’ve never seen anything like this. The magic that would be necessary to this…the skill…” Penny drives off, as if she finished the idea in his mind, “No…I don’t think Baz did this…” She stands up and walks to the dry patch of blood and the carbonized the trees.

I remember the taste of Baz’s magic in my mouth, the air impregnated with cedar and bergamot. “He wouldn’t be able to burn if he had done it…”

“Is this what the Humdrum does with all the magic he devorates?” Agatha it’s on the verge of crying.

“I…don’t know…” Penny starts to walk up to us, looking down probably with her head full of ideas and possibilities, “If that’s it, they just might almost match Simon’s magic…” She whispers as if the thought escapes her mind.

“We need to tell the Mage about this!” We both to turn to Agatha,

“No!” I react before thinking it, “I…um…he…”

“Simon, what happened?”

I open my mouth to answer, but I don’t how to tell them. I don’t want to leave Watford. “Are you okay?” Penny asks again.

“I…” I hesitate in front of the worry of her eyes, “Let…let’s just go for Baz…”

I swallow.

_You should leave._

_Watford too._

The memory echoes in my mind.

“I don’t understand.” Agatha calls for our attention, “Since when you conspired behind the Mage’s back? Especially you Simon.” I take a step back, “You are choosing Baz over him?”

“I doubt that the Mage is in the mood to help the Pitch’s right now Agatha.” Penny adjusts her glasses and turns to the scene again.

“Still it’s not our job!” Agatha tries to argument, dropping her fists on the side of her body, “Clearly there are people looking for him, why do we have to get involved?”

“Because it’s the right thing, Agatha.” She turns to me, her wide in surprised of me finally talking, “It’s what we’ve always d-“

“What about you, Agatha? Didn’t you choose Baz before?” Penny reminds without even looking at us.

The question takes the both of us on surprised. Agatha turns red, “It was a dumb crush, I wasn’t talking about breaking the law!”

_Was?_

“We are not breaking the law, we are…working around it.” Penny explains as she walks to the tree again, “Now we should actually figure out what are we going to do…how are we going to find Baz?”

“What about  **Follow the yellow path**?”

***

We turn to each other to see the path starts to cheer out as we entered Watford. I worry that I conjured it wronged. But it didn’t seem like I did.  **Follow the yellow path,**  shows you the way to what you need rather than what you want.

Maybe Agatha is right, and what we need to do is tell the Mage.

We follow the blinkering path to the White Chapel. We do not only see the lights on but broken windows and loud noises.

The path finally disappears as we start to run to it.

We follow the noise until we stop because a body hits ng to the wall next us. The moment we recognize who is it, so does he. My first instinct is to step in front of Penny and Agatha. “Simon!” And there’s a gloss of joy, maybe, in his eyes. But it looks out of character. He is bleeding, bruised, his shirt it’s open and his pants are dirty. There’s a determination in his eyes I can’t quite a place. “Just on time!” 

“Get away from him!” A fireball flies in between us. We take a step back and the Mage finally stands up.

Before I turn to the responsible a different voice yells, “ **Hell hath no fury**!” We have to jump back to avoid getting burned by the wave fire that hits the Mage in the chest.

I turn to the known voice. I step into the scene in an effort to get closer to Ebb. She stood with her staff forward. Her teeth clenched and her crying eyes on the Mage. Behind her, the smoke revels Baz barely on his two feet, and his fangs tinted a dark red, just as the rest of his clothes. I start to walk up to him. “You can have it! You can have all my power!” Ebb yells desperate.

“ **Resistance is futile**!” I hear the Mage yell, “That’s not how it works, I have to take it!” I look back to him, but he is no longer against the wall.

“ **Head over hea** -” Ebb tries to say but his sword already pierced her heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually have a kind of valid excuse to not upload, I was sick(still kind of am) but doesn’t excuse why every new part is so short lately...
> 
> Also, this is not my best work. I think I've been lacking the motivation to write because I think there's so much room for improvement but I don't really know how to improve...so what do you guys think? How are you liking the story? If you have any suggestions or feedback feel free to comment them...if you want to...
> 
> Anyway, thanks for reading and the always so lovely comments!! <3


	11. Early Morning Cries

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> At first, I don't know if the shattering sound it's just in my head or if it's really happening. Until Baz hugs me and throws me to the floor. I don't notice the broken pieces next to us but the blood on my hand.

_Crack._

At first, I don't know if the shattering sound it's just in my head or if it's really happening. Until Baz hugs me and throws me to the floor. I don't notice the broken pieces next to us but the blood on my hand. Baz picks my face up. I see him talking. I see him move his mouth. Although, I can't hear him over the ring on my ears.

I look up and the first thing I see it's Agatha running. I want to go after before but I can't get up. I turn around and there's a growing puddle of blood beside Ebb's unconscious body. My eyes stay just on her for a second. I look up before settling them on the man on his knees next to her. He stops moving his lips and stares backs at me. He stands up and his eyes move away from mine to Baz next to me. It takes me a moment before I can recognize him. To understand what just happened. Finally, I can hear Baz calling my name as I start to get up. I don't think I'm breathing, I don't feel air going through my lungs. Instead, I only recognize the taste of smoke in my mouth, with a touch of a bitter flavor of the tears running my cheeks until they fall into my mouth. I can only focus on his madding eyes through the blurriness of mine. He stops in front of me, just before reaching Baz. 

"Sim-"

"No..." I stop him before he can even start. 

"I'm doing this for you,"He gives a smile like he doesn't understand what I mean yet.

"Then stop." I clench my teeth, in an attempt to stop the sobbing from coming. 

He reaches for my cheek, I take a step back and lift the sword. He doesn't step away instead he gets closer again. My sword shakes, I can't do it. He cups my cheek in his hand, it feels wet. "You are broken Simon," He whispers to me, "I want to fix you, I need power, I need magic..."

I grab his shirt with my bloody hand. "You can have it. Take it. I don't want it." I cry to him, "Have mine."

"I'll fix it, my son. You are free of this horrible responsibility upon you." He promises. 

When I look up to his eyes, there's realization. I let go of the air I was holding, let go of his shirt, let go of the sword. The sound of it falling eco around the room. I fall on my knees before crying out. "It's...over..." I declare feeling my chest lighter between sobs, "Finally..." I look to my knees as the tears start to create a puddle. 

He grabs my shoulder and presses it. My magic flows in a way it has never done before. I can let go. "I'll-" 

" **Bend over backwards!** " I hear a shout before I do. " **Hit the floor!"** Penny yells again, but it doesn't work because the Mage is already on the floor. " **Head over hills!** " The spell pushes him away from me. It gives her enough space to walk over to me. Infront of me. She is still pointing her ring to the Mage. But he is not moving anymore. 

"Penny?" What...? What are you doing?" My voice breaks, unlike hers. Every spell came out steady, strong even if her eyes were tearing up. 

"What are you doing Snow?" I turn to Baz, he is standing up now. His voice is angry, desperate and a million other things I can't describe. He clenches his hurt arm harder. 

"But..." I try to think a comeback, an idea, something to say. Maybe there's something I can say or do but my head is only tornado of words and incomplete ideas.

"He was going to kill you." Penny finally puts down her hand, she keeps her hand on a fist. 

I turn to the Mage on the other side of the room. The tears roll faster on my cheeks like there's no end. Baz kneels next to me and hugs me. "It's okay love...everything is going to be okay..."

"I..I..." I gasp for air, "... can't...not...not any...anymore..." 

"It's going to be-"

"No!" I cry loudly, "It's...too...much..." The flow I felt before hasn't stopped. "I think...I...I going...to expode..." I clench my fist and close my eyes as hard as I can. 

"Simon?" I hear Baz's voice covered in worry. 

There's a voice I don't recognize in my head. Yelling. Pushing me to the edge. I don't understand what it's saying. It's calling for something, someone, me perhaps. Until it get's too loud. Until I can't hold the magic anymore.

I open my eyes; behind Baz a figure stands, looking down to their own hands.

"Who...who are you?"

It's a kid. 

Baz lets go of me and turns around. He and Penny gasp but don't say anything. 

The kid looks up and smile. "I'm what's left after you."

Finally, his features click in my mind. He is too thin, too short, too _young._

"Why do you look like that?" I mumble, frowning at the boy. 

"Because I come from you I guess." His mature expressions don't fit his body or pre-teen voice.

"What?" I start standing up. My legs shake but I don't give up. 

"You thought all that magic was yours?" He mocked.

"What the bloody hell are you talking about?" I take a step forward in his direction. 

"Oh please get angry," He licks his lips, formed into a smile. His lips are chipped and fry. "Feed me more. Maybe I'll grow like you." He changes his stare to look at the red ball I used to play too many years ago in his hands. I clench my teeth. "Maybe I can change again."

"Stop mocking me! Show your face coward!" Baz stops me from coming close to him. 

I turn to Baz, "I don't think he is lying Snow." He looks at me dead serious. "I think he...he-"

"This is the first time he has a physical form, isn't it?" Penny finishes the sentence. 

"The attacks weren't to kill you," Baz looks down, frowning, "...it was to make you explode."

He stops throwing the ball in the air. "You sure are quick." He smiles pleased.  

Anger makes my blood boil. My fingertips start to tingle on magic again. Thoughts start to get tangled.

"Snow." I ignore him. My eyes are on the Humdrum but Baz pulls me forcing me to turn to him. "That's what he wants, Snow." 

"And what else can I do?" I pull away as the smoke around me gets denser. 

The Humdrum laughs, "Yeah, what else can you do?" I blink; before I can react his hand is on Penny's shoulder. Her yell jumps all over the room, she falls on her knees. There's a small moment where her eyes connect with mine. A small moment before consciousness leaves her eyes. Just before her head hits the floor. Before I run next to kneel next to her. He looks down at her body. "I've never done that with a mage before, you know? What an interesting result!" 

"What did you do to her?!" I yell between my teeth, hugging her cold body.

"Mmm..." he seems to stop to think, "I gave a little bit of my nothing, I guess you could say. I just pushed it. I guess she didn't like it." The enjoyment of his voice makes me want to puke.

I hug Penny's body harder. I hold on to her because I want her to be okay. Then there's that the flow of her magic again. I turn to her face. I let go again, just like before. I try to leave behind the anger, to just let the magic go through. Until her body is warmer, until I hear her gasp, until her magic well is full again. 

"What did you do?" The Humdrum says finally changing his smile. He doesn't sound in any way worried though, rather curious. "That was a lot...more effective..." He almost sounds impressed. 

"Simon? Is that you?" We turned to the voice. My stomach drops.

"Certainly Simon is a better name the Insidious Humdrum..." He rolls his eyes annoyed.

The Mage looks back and forth on between the boy and me. "The..the...Humdrum?" 

"Who comes up with this names?" He looks down to me. Is he really talking to me?

"I need to...Simon I need to..." Baz get's in the Mage's way before he get's to me. "Don't you understand Simon can't defeat him?!" There's a tone of desperation hanging in his voice that makes me want to give up. Until I turn back to the Humdrum.

I noticed his smile, his stare on Baz, the way he licked his lips just before extending his hand. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Officially I don't have a fucking idea how to do titles anymore. 
> 
> I feel like Natalie from Community Channel everytime I say I'll try to publish more. I have to accept that I suck. It's not like I don't try, it's just that when I have time to write my brain it's too tired to think anything decent...not an excuse but you know to avoid feeling too horrible...
> 
> Anyway, I hope you don't hate me too much and you are enjoying the story! :D  
> Thank you so so so much for reading and the lovely the comments! 
> 
> PS: this story is close to ending. <3


	12. Afternoon of Tears and Blood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "The Humdrum smiles wider. "You are the one I have thank then?" 
> 
> "Thank?" Baz asks, now back in his sane state of mine. I'm glad he is okay. 
> 
> "You come from me..." I mumble, barely able to understand if I said it right. "
> 
> WARNING!: Graphic descriptions of violence, and blood.

There's a crash when we hit the floor. I look down to the Humdrum, grinding my teeth and he is smiling mockingly. I turn around when I hear Baz's yell. He drops to his knees and holds the side of his head, clenching his eyelids. He starts breathing as it hurts to breathe. As he opens his mouth I noticed his teeth growing longer, sharper. The moment he stops moving it's like times stop, no one moves even for a moment after. When turns to me, with hunger in his eyes.

Before I can react Baz throws himself at me. I let go of the Humdrum and roll over just in time so he falls passed me. He doesn't hit the wall, he is able to stop himself by putting his hand on the floor. He creates a hole in the floor. It makes me drag myself back to the wall. He looks up to me again. I support myself against on the wall without looking away from Baz to get up. 

"Baz?" The desperation in his eyes, the way he breaths heavily exhaling with mouth open, the way he stands with his backed arched and arm hanging from his body unnatural is not  _human._ He starts running to me again. I don't move away this time, I expect the hit. But it doesn't come. Instead, Baz is hit by a spell and thrown to the wall. I turn and the mage is standing with his staff pointed to Baz. 

"Auch!" I ignore the Humdrums stupid comment as Baz starts getting back up. The Mage starts preparing a spell. I run in front of Baz and the fire falls on me instead. The heat burns my chest and it starts expanding to the rest of my body. It gets to my throat when it finally stops. Immediately after Baz throws me to the floor. The mage yells at me. But it disappears in the dizziness of the world. I don't try to push Baz way. Instead, I let him pin me down the floor. I give him all that I have, all the strength I have left. I look his eyes soften. His teeth disappear. His body relaxed until his grip is loose. "Simon?"

"It's fine Baz." I smile weakly at him. He stares into my eyes, for a second before being literally kicked off me. I turn to the Mage. He looks enraged. I am about to get up when he looks down to me. 

"What are you doing Simon?" I open my mouth to answer but he interrupts me before I can do it, "You are supposed to give it to me Simon. I am the only one that can handle it!" 

I hear the Humdrum laugh from afar, "It's always so much fun watching the humans fight for a power that isn't theirs...always so much fun." 

"I created him, it's mine by right!" The Mage pulls me up from my shirt. His voice resounds in my head, it's too loud. I'm barely standing. I start to breath slower, and the world gets blurrier and blurrier.

The Humdrum smiles wider. "You are the one I have thank then?" 

"Thank?" Baz asks, now back in his sane state of mine. I'm glad he is okay. 

"You come from me..." I mumble, barely able to understand if I said it right. 

The Mage let's go of my shirt and fall to Baz's feed. I look to the Mage. There's a moment of recognition in his eyes. "Ha!" Then it's gone. "I understand now!" He exclaims in euphoria, and points down at me, "You are the only that can defeat it because you are the reason it exists! I finally understand!" He laughs again and I feel Baz tense behind me, "It wasn't your destiny to kill him...it was your destiny to die!" He laughs and I don't react at first.

I use Baz as a support to get up. I turn to the Humdrum and he finally drops his smile. He understands what I want. 

It finally makes sense. "Simon?" Baz tries to hold my arm. I stare into his eyes for a moment. Try to tell him why or what I want to do, or goodbye maybe although my eyes only filled with tears at the side of his cold grey eyes open and vulnerable. I keep going. Faster as I do I walk passed the Mage to the Humdrum. 

The Humdrum tries to walk backward, away from me but he finally hits a wall. "Wha-what are you doing?" He slurs as finally catch up to him. The Mage is behind me trying to pull me away from the Humdrum but it's too late.

The magic is flowing and I can't stop it. 

The Humdrum yells and twirls in pain but I don't let go of him. I don't move my eyes from his. He is scared. He finally looks like the 11-year old that I once was. Hungry for knowledge, for power to fill the expectations. Scared of the power I couldn't control and the unknown to come. Now I understand. I couldn't control because it wasn't mine to control. It wasn't mine to keep. 

Voices yell and yell but I can't distinguish any of them until there's nothing under hands. The humdrum disappears and feel...empty. Tears run my face. "There's nothing left...I don't...I...don't have it..." I declare to myself more than to anyone else. The Mage shakes me asking, yelling, for answers. I don't react I let him shake my body in pain. I don't have energy left. I don't have it in me anymore. He stops and looks up. He is clenching his teeth, he lifts his hand and points behind me. _Baz._

I don't call it. I shouldn't. I don't _know_ or _understand why_ or _how_. " **Hell hath** -" He chokes before finishing the spell. The sobs and tears start running out of my control. He looks down wide eye to the growing red stain on his shirt. I let go of the sword of Mages as lays down on to the floor, choking, creating a new puddle of blood on the floor. He glares back at me. Life slowly leaving his eyes. He says my name one more time. I yell in desperation when his body relaxes and his eyes infinitely stare to nothingness. 

I feel a hand on my shoulder. Then another one on my cheek that makes me turn round. "I...I killed him...I killed him Baz..." He softly smiles at me, tears blurring the grey clouds in his eyes. 

"You've saved us Simon." Baz tilts his head and pulls mine until our foreheads are touching, "You saved me handsome bastard..." It only makes my tears run faster. 

"I lost it Baz." I cry to him, putting my hand over his on my cheek, "I lost it all."

"It's going to be okay love...I promise..."

"I don't have magic left..." I try to explain myself between sobs, "I killed a man...I'm not the chosen one, I'm muderer...I'm a monster..."

He doesn't answer for a second. I fear he finally understood me and will pull away from. But he stays frozen. "Then we make quite the match don't you think?" And he smiles with his fangs shining against the blood on his lips. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoy this chapter after another week...I hope it was worth even if it's not really long but it is quite heavy in terms of that a lot happened...and I wanted it to end it there because the next chapter is the last one(chan chan chan)...
> 
> Anyway, I just wanted to say thank you so so so much for your support until now, for enduring the slow and short updates, for incredibly lovely and sweet comments, and the kudos! They truly make me want to write more and more, they really kept me going and made my days so much better!
> 
> This story was originally a one-shot but ideas kept coming until it came to this point and I've probably wouldn't have made it without all the awesome support. I hope you enjoyed this chapter and how the story evolved from snapchat messages to this! <3
> 
> Thank you so so so much!! I hope I can update before next week(I won't even lie to you, you deserve better.)


	13. Late Night Recoveries, Revelations and Confessions.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Late night conversations and last-minute revelations.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter holy fuck.

_you up?_ The first text was from a far away window, surrounded by the white walls of the hospital in contrast to the black void of the sky on the window. I answered with the simple darkness of the room, and short  ** _yes._   _you okay?_**

The second matched the darkness of my room, I sat up complaining of the pain in the way. 

"I'll take that as a yes" Penny said as she met my eyes. She readjusts her glasses, and sigh. "How are you feeling?"

"Pain, honestly." She nods, "You?" 

She paused for a second and sighs, "Like I was trucked by lighting." 

I nod back this time. We fell into a weird silence, not exactly uncomfortable but weird. It's not like we don't have any more to say, it's more we don't know where to start really. 

After Agatha called her parents, Penny's and Baz's and her parents found all of us unconscious with two bloody dead bodies. After we all were taken to the hospital to recover. Penny and I were put in the same room. She didn't want to leave me alone. After we gave into the many drugs and spells until we fell back asleep.

"You know anything about Baz?" Penny finally broke the silence. 

I look down at my phone, and unlock it when I noticed his name on it. The ceiling it's the same from ours.  _for someone who's already dead, you'd think this be less painful. you?_

"In pain too, but he's here," I explain as I answer.  _ **probably been worse in the past.**_

"Good," Penny explains with more enthusiasm I expected. I turn to her frowning. "We need to talk." 

"With Baz?" 

She looks away from me for a moment before turning back with an intense stare. "First you need to tell what happened with Baz and you."

I open my mouth to answer but I stop myself, I don't know how to start. How do you tell someone you made out with you lifetime enemy? "I guess things changed around us." I look at my phone to avoid her eyes. 

The ceiling again.  _yeah I'm sure_   He doesn't have to send the second text with a _(sarcasm)_  for me to understand but he does anyway. 

"I can  _see_ that" Penny states in a way she wants me to call for my attention. 

 _ **can you come to our room?**  _ I type instead. 

"Simon you..." She pauses, in doubt, "...you were going to let him kill you..." Her voice is cautious. I can feel staring at me, waiting for my reaction. I clench my hand around my phone. I expect my magic to start boiling at the memory, but it doesn't come. My stomach forms into a knot and it starts a wave of nausea. "...but killed him for Baz..." 

 _you miss me already snow?_  

I don't follow his joke _. **penny wants to talk**_

"Simon?" She calls me again, worried. 

"He wouldn't stop," I mumble with the knot now on my throat. "He wouldn't stop hurting everyone." I close my eyes to blink the tears away. I saw Ebb on the floor and the ever-growing pool of blood around her body. Another blink and Baz was barely standing dripping more blood than he probably has. Another blink and the blood thirst in the mage's eyes before they lost all life in them. Blink, and I was crying.

"Simon..." Penny now sat next to me hugging me, "You did the right thing."

"You saved us all you brave bastard." I look up to see Baz lying against the door frame with a tired smile, dark circles under his eyes, dry lips, messy waves contained behind his ears and bandages over all his body. "You wouldn't answer anymore, I thought I would come to check what you wanted to talk about." 

I unlock my phone to find an unopen notification from him. I turn to Penny and encourage her to talk. "What is it?"

She moves away from me and readjusts her glasses. "What is it between the two of you?" 

My eyes moved to Baz, he is calm like always but he doesn't answer or move. Finally, he meets my eyes. "I think I should sit down then."

He takes a chair that Penny's mother brought before and sits next to my bed. I wait for someone to talk, when I realize they are waiting for me to talk. Again I don't know how to start so tell her everything. From the accidental text, to the fight with Agatha, to Christmas party...everything until I went to Baz house. Baz also listens, nodding at certain parts, rolling his eyes in other, and frowning just after I explain the night we kissed. I turn to explain the end to Penny only, to avoid looking at him. She only frowns.

There's a moment of silence of her thoughtfully staring to the sheets of the bed before mumbling a quite, "...Everything makes sense then..." Then she abruptly looks up to me. " The Mage was at Baz's house looking for something when he asked you to leave Watford?" I nod, she doesn't seem to be really asking as much as thinking out loud, "He must have to been looking for something to... _fix_...you..."

She turns to Baz, finally back to reality, when he finally talks, "He was trying to extract something from me, when Ebaneza came to check on the loud noises..."

"Right! He wanted her power also...he must have wanted Baz's...to kill two birds with one stone..." Penny finished her thoughts, "He didn't expect no one to interrogate him about Baz's disappearing, he didn't know you two were dating..."

I stare to Baz my heart raising. "It was my fault." Both of them turn to me, surprised. "Ebb...you..." I stare the scratches and bruises on his porcelain face, then Penny's. Her dark skin hides most of them in poor lighting of the room, although her face looks tired and her eyes shine in worry. "All of it, the dead points, the Humdrum, the dead points...all of it it's my fault."

"Simon...you didn't know..." Penny tries to grab my hand but I pull away, shaking. "Si..." 

"No." Baz says, he voice clear and loud. "You hear him." He tilts forward and rests his elbows on his knees. "He said created you. He wanted to control a power he couldn't have. So he passed it down to you." 

Penny opens her eyes wide. "What?"

"It makes sense if you think about it," Baz puts his hands together and stares at them as he talks, "He was the one that cared about the prophecy, the one that knew where to find Simon..." 

"No magic parent would ever abandon their child..." I mutter softly

"Unless he was hiding something..." Penny finishes. 

Baz nods and then looks up to me. "I'm sorry Simon." 

"I killed my father..." 

"You killed a madman."  Baz takes my hand, trying to reassure me. 

"You did what you could," Penny takes my other hand, "You saved us Simon..."

"We wouldn't we've been here with you." 

_Only because I put you in danger first._

But I don't say it. Instead, I just stare at the walls blankly as tears fall down my cheeks. "Bunce, would you let me a moment with Simon?" His voice is cool and calm. 

Penny's squishes my hand for a couple of seconds before getting up and giving us once las uncertain glance. 

Baz sits in front of, where Penny was before. He tries to clean the tears on my face but other's quickly replace them. He sighs and gives a soft smile. "It's a lot, isn't it?." He whispers. "There's so much happening right now, but it's the end of it." He takes my hand with both of his and raises it, it's cold but I don't mind. "We survived Simon,  _both_ of us." He leaves a soft kiss on my hand, "Together." He leans in and kisses me softly, he lingers on my lips a little more than I expected but I can feel him smiling. "That's more than I thought I'd ever had."

I pull away and quickly wipe the tears from my cheek with my free hand. I laugh, some sobs slip in between. "Yeah...me too..." 

"I love you, Simon..." He squishes my hand as if he feared I am going to pull away.

I stop laughing. I stare at him for a second. Now I am the one that cups his face. I lean until his forehead touches mine, I lift my hand with his still grabbing around mine and wrap my free hand over his. "I love you too." I lay a quick kiss on his lips. 

"I thought that would kill me." He whispers after a while. 

I clenching in my hand around his, pulling them to my chest. "Yeah me too..."

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, this is a long one, you've been warned.
> 
> Once upon a long time a, this was a one-shot around the social media prompt back in december, that my Tumblr erased three times. I re-wrote it and it somehow morphed into this. But I like it, it might not be perfect but I think it's good enough. I worked hard on it...This is first(kind of)(i know it's not super long) long story I've ever written, and actually finished!! And my first time writing so much angst(i killed me a little bit making them suffer, trust me) and so plot-driven story. So that's exciting, a lot of first...thank you for being with me on this whole thing! Really, thank you so much, from the bottom of my heart. 
> 
> Thank you so incredibly much for reading, the fact you've endured all my slow and weird uploading schedule it's shocking to me; I really hope this story was worth it. Thank you so SO MUCH for commenting and for the feedback, reading your thoughts through the story really kept me going through this whole process. It means so much to me, knowing people were actually enjoying the story. You guys are the best and always so lovely!
> 
> I hope the ending was enough, I'm not great at endings I feel they come out too dull sometimes. I don't know. It's not exactly a super mega happy ending like I'm used to writing, kind of bittersweet but I'm experimenting. It's kind of happy. 
> 
> Anyway, I truly deeply hope you enjoyed the story and it was worth reading! Thank you SO SO MUCH! Have an amazing day!

**Author's Note:**

> (Not so)Fun fact about this fic, this is the fourth time I write it. I wrote in December for the Carry On Countdown in my phone because the computer I was using at the time was broken, and every time I save it in Tumblr it got erased all three times I re-wrote it. So here it is the fourth attempt, finally.


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